The word “personal” in a personal finance plays a very important role. It’s a reminder that each person is an individual and that our lives and needs are unique. This is probably my favorite part. Especially since we live in a world where we are bombarded with the latest financial “hacks”. Influencers are telling us to try the latest hack and we feel compelled to keep up with the Joneses. That one word “personal” brings us back to reality. Do what’s best for you and your life. This becomes even more important when talking about personal finance for couples.

Now, this doesn’t mean go crazy and do anything that crosses your mind. I’m not going to co-sign YOLO. But, I will shout “yes” to doing the things that bring joy and fulfillment to life.

Building a financial foundation with a partner requires a few foundational elements. Trust, communication, and honesty have to already exist in the relationship. These hold true for a romantic or non-romantic money partnership. I mean, can you imagine sharing finances with someone who is dishonest, ornery and just downright difficult?

Over time we see there are some practices that hold true for most people. There are some basic rules of personal finance. Many of these rules have proven to work well for the majority of people, helping them build strong financial foundations.

When two people decide to share a life together, their finances naturally become intertwined. That’s where the concept of personal finance becomes even more important. Each person brings different habits, values, and spending priorities into the relationship. The goal isn’t to erase those difference, but rather to build a system that respects those differences.

What I’ll share below applies to people in healthy, safe relationships that are grounded in trust and respect.

How Couples Manage Money

Joint Bank Accounts

Checking Account – shared account, used for paying household expenses, including fixed and variable expenses.

Saving Account – shared account used for savings towards emergency fund and short term goals (less than a year).

These are the basic accounts most peoples need. By combining finances this way, each person maintains equity in the relationship while managing household expenses together. If there is a significant difference in incomes, this helps each person feel like they are contributing fairly.

Individual Bank Accounts

This is my personal favorite. An individual bank account gives each partner breathing room and can reduce financial conflict in relationships. Your partner may find it frustrating to see multiple swipes of coffee purchases. On the surface, it seems simple but it has a been lifesaving strategy that I recommend to my clients. It’s also helped create calm and an added a layer of clarity that comes from feeling a sense of independence. Plus, they won’t know about their birthday gift because they saw the purchase on the debit card.

This is your personal account, no questions asked – want to get a Venti this week, go ahead. Need to buy some new golf clubs, this is the account. It creates freedom and structure without the guilt.

You decide how much goes into the account. You can choose to have the same amounts for each person. Consider lifestyle needs when deciding how much goes into the account. For instance, is one person with the kids more and needs a few extra dollars for unexpected treats.

This isn’t just something I recommend to clients. I’ve used this strategy in my “personal” personal finances and it’s been a huge gift. Maybe you implement this as is or you create some version of this system. I encourage you to incorporate the systems I’ve shared. At the end of the day, the goal is to create a system that works for both people one that ‘s grounded in trust, communication and collaboration.